Sideshow Rants tag:www.adairdevil.com,2008:/alanna//2 2007-05-26T16:18:22Z Movable Type 3.31 Donald? Is that you? tag:www.adairdevil.com,2007:/alanna//2.243 2007-05-26T14:54:58Z 2007-05-26T16:18:22Z I see from your black t-shirt with dazzling sparkly gold writing that you a member of the "Billionaire's Club". Wow! Good for YOU! At such a young age! I would have thought you'd still be in junior high, or highschool-... Alanna I see from your black t-shirt with dazzling sparkly gold writing that you a member of the "Billionaire's Club". Wow! Good for YOU! At such a young age! I would have thought you'd still be in junior high, or highschool- like right NOW because it's the middle of a weekday. You must have worked very hard, shepherding some brilliant idea from drawing board to real world. You are a master at hiding the intensity that this road to billionaire-ism must have taken, as you zig zag up 5th Ave in Park Slope, kicking garbage. Fashionwise, I like the way you counter the Billionaire-ity with jean shorts. You truly are an inspiration - work hard to follow your dream and you TOO can be in the Billionaire's Club. Words I Never Imagined I'd Say tag:www.adairdevil.com,2007:/alanna//2.241 2007-05-07T04:01:09Z 2007-05-07T15:46:26Z "Is that ham on my computer?"... Alanna ham on my computer?"]]> You think YOU'VE got troubles tag:www.adairdevil.com,2007:/alanna//2.234 2007-04-03T22:59:52Z 2007-04-03T23:04:36Z Coat-choice conversation between 2 older women overheard in Secaucus train station Woman 1: The lining of this coat goes in with buttons. They're an inch apart and there are about a hundred of them. Woman 2: Ugh! That's HORRID!! Any... Alanna Coat-choice conversation between 2 older women overheard in Secaucus train station Woman 1: The lining of this coat goes in with buttons. They're an inch apart and there are about a hundred of them. Woman 2: Ugh! That's HORRID!! Any right-thinking human: Why, God, WHY!? I Guess I can Pretend this is a Spa Treatment tag:www.adairdevil.com,2007:/alanna//2.233 2007-03-16T20:37:11Z 2007-03-16T20:43:53Z I'm not a camper, don't need to rough it to prove something to on-looking squirrels. I'm not a princess either. I'm somewhere in between but along the continuum I'm definitely closer to the side that prefers not to bathe out... Alanna I'm not a camper, don't need to rough it to prove something to on-looking squirrels. I'm not a princess either. I'm somewhere in between but along the continuum I'm definitely closer to the side that prefers not to bathe out of a Rubbermaid pitcher of warm water, made using my Special Recipe for Warm Water: One part water boiled in a tea pot, one part icey cold water from the hot tap. Bathing out of the vessel your roommate uses for Crystal Light makes you wonder about your life- What events led me to this moment? What are the universe's designs for me? There is no way I've gotten all of the soap off my body. It's supposed to rain today. I run the very real risk of bursting into a luxurious but ill-time lather. I need to work on being more vapid and uninteresting tag:www.adairdevil.com,2006:/alanna//2.217 2006-12-18T23:31:19Z 2006-12-18T23:32:14Z Those seem to be the happiest people. And it seems others enjoy vapid and uninteresting conversations.... Alanna Those seem to be the happiest people. And it seems others enjoy vapid and uninteresting conversations. There's something on that pigeon's head! tag:www.adairdevil.com,2006:/alanna//2.216 2006-12-12T01:19:27Z 2006-12-12T03:34:10Z It looked like he was wearing a tiny cotton ball hat. Perhaps pigeons know that we lose most of our body heat through our heads.... Alanna It looked like he was wearing a tiny cotton ball hat. Perhaps pigeons know that we lose most of our body heat through our heads. Thank YOU Keyspan! tag:www.adairdevil.com,2006:/alanna//2.214 2006-12-07T18:52:57Z 2006-12-07T20:46:34Z Thank you for leaving a grave-size hole on 4th Avenue in Park Slope.! This gaping chasm has given neighborhood folks someplace to put their suitcases and crates which would otherwise have to be used for travel or to store olde... Alanna Thank you for leaving a grave-size hole on 4th Avenue in Park Slope.! This gaping chasm has given neighborhood folks someplace to put their suitcases and crates which would otherwise have to be used for travel or to store olde time milk bottles. Who can think of vacationing in this global climate of fear? And good luck finding a milk truck. Announce Your Insanity to the World tag:www.adairdevil.com,2006:/alanna//2.212 2006-12-05T00:25:54Z 2006-12-05T03:37:22Z Get a Pet Stroller A Pet Stroller Review by "catmom" entitled "cat strooler review": "After zippping and putting my 4 pound kitten in it, we walked about 15 ft. The kitten went balistic and broke the zipper trying to get... Alanna Get a Pet Stroller A Pet Stroller Review by "catmom" entitled "cat strooler review": "After zippping and putting my 4 pound kitten in it, we walked about 15 ft. The kitten went balistic and broke the zipper trying to get out. So, I swdinitely would not recommend for a larger cat." If you explain to people that your cat escaped from a stroller, do you think anyone is going to help YOU get your pet back? I swdinitely doubt it. Dear Downstairs Neighbor who Spends His Whole Day Smoking Up and Watching VH1 tag:www.adairdevil.com,2006:/alanna//2.211 2006-11-30T02:47:29Z 2006-11-30T04:15:25Z Do you think that at some point today you could have called the goddamn landlord to tell him the building has no fucking hot water? Think you could have squeezed this in between rolling a joint and smoking a joint?... Alanna Do you think that at some point today you could have called the goddamn landlord to tell him the building has no fucking hot water? Think you could have squeezed this in between rolling a joint and smoking a joint? At least the lesson I learned this morning won't be wasted: One teapot of boiling water, when mixed with equal parts ice-cold tap water, yeilds about 4 pitchers of warm water. I'm going to start wearing shoes around the house. Insult and Injury tag:www.adairdevil.com,2006:/alanna//2.203 2006-11-15T21:58:20Z 2006-11-15T22:24:33Z My friend Sally tried to kill me. We were picking through a box of chocolates trying to figure out which candies had nuts, which I am allergic to. I'll admit, I was kind of mangling a chocolate. "Just bite it!... Alanna My friend Sally tried to kill me. We were picking through a box of chocolates trying to figure out which candies had nuts, which I am allergic to. I'll admit, I was kind of mangling a chocolate. "Just bite it! Just bite it!" - Sally's taunting will haunt me until the day I die (Thursday, if she has her way). The candy was perfectly square so I was less suspicious and I succombed to her relentless peer pressure. NUTS! Everywhere NUTS. So, later on, after my brush with grim death.....Sally tells me that my hair looks good, she likes the new cut, it has body. And.....she can tell from the frizzy spot on the back of my head that I got tired of drying my hair. This is entirely true. But I never wanted to hear it. I love Sally Subjects I Hope Are Tested on the July 2007 Bar Exam tag:www.adairdevil.com,2006:/alanna//2.202 2006-11-09T15:39:54Z 2006-11-15T14:22:58Z Snood Ali G The Simpsons... Alanna Snood Ali G The Simpsons Stay At Home Cat Mom tag:www.adairdevil.com,2006:/alanna//2.201 2006-11-09T14:55:24Z 2006-11-09T14:59:44Z I'd like to be a stay-at-home cat mom. Do you think I can find a guy stupid enough to let me do that...who's also funny and hot?... Alanna I'd like to be a stay-at-home cat mom. Do you think I can find a guy stupid enough to let me do that...who's also funny and hot? Foreign Correspondent Justin Timberlake tag:www.adairdevil.com,2006:/alanna//2.196 2006-10-19T03:03:13Z 2006-10-19T14:55:16Z http://www.theonion.com/content/node/54204&confirm=1 I am really and truly and literally ACTUALLY getting more news from the Onion than from other news sources. Though I do have to thank channel 7- they taught me to appreciate Justin Timberlake. One fateful morning I was... Alanna http://www.theonion.com/content/node/54204&confirm=1 I am really and truly and literally ACTUALLY getting more news from the Onion than from other news sources. Though I do have to thank channel 7- they taught me to appreciate Justin Timberlake. One fateful morning I was looking for news, like an IDiot. Instead I found 3 flawless Timberlake performances right in a row! Much more refreshing than that stuffy old war. Them other fu(kers don't know how to act! Your dog needs pants tag:www.adairdevil.com,2006:/alanna//2.195 2006-10-18T22:02:24Z 2006-10-19T01:08:53Z There! I said it!... Alanna There! I said it! Unriddle-able riddle tag:www.adairdevil.com,2006:/alanna//2.192 2006-10-18T02:22:32Z 2006-10-18T02:49:53Z ....making the gray blog red. Won't somebody PLEASE tell me how to use the internet.... Alanna ....making the gray blog red. Won't somebody PLEASE tell me how to use the internet.