Bums I Have Known

Until today, I had a very clear ranking in my bum stories (bums being homeless people who harass others, not homeless people in general). They were:

#1: Winter 2001-2. Lunch hour, walking along 25th St, returning to office. Homeless lady walks up to me, kicks me in the shin, tells me, "watch your white ass"

#2: Winter 2002-3. Waiting on bench on a crowded downtown NQRW platform at 34th St. Suddenly, I am hugged from behind and have to bellow and push to be released. Homeless man spends remainder of time following me up the platform as bystanders give me "if he touches you again, I'll help, but for now . . " looks; he explains that he thought I was Lucia, but I am prettier, though she is not as fat as I am. Nice. Even crazy guys who reek of pee have something to say about my ass. He does not follow me on the train, though, so it's over.

. . . OR WAS IT?

This morning, who should walk onto the Q train at Canal St. but Crazy Huggy Homeless Guy. And what should he do but once again fix on me? He stood beside me singing a song of his own devising. It went:

I love you barely
I'm hooked on your love

over and over again.

So my question: does encountering the Huggy Bum again elevate story #2 to first place?

Posted by Adair at October 26, 2005 10:12 AM

Posted to Bums Love Me | NY