October 11, 2005

Maybe Next Year, and Hopefully without Tim McCarver

The bad news (from my perspective), is that the Yankees lost--lost UGLY--the decisive game in the ALDS and are heading home for the winter. It was a weird but rewarding season, and I'm not one of the outraged fans who feel that the season is a waste of time if they don't win the World Series. But it still would've been nice if they'd lost while actually playing well; they may have lost anyway, since it's not as though the Angels dumbassed their way into the postseason, but it wouldn't have been such a depressing Game 5 to watch. Also, one prefers for one's favored team to be defeated by a team without a rally monkey in its sordid past. Alas. The Angels played well, the Yankees did not.

Now, I have to figure out how much of the remaining postseason I can stand to watch. Generally, I like watching baseball regardless of whether I have a rooting interest--live, on ESPN, on local TV, or even the Braves on TBS. But man, without the extra pull of needing to see how my favorite team fares, I don't know how much of Fox's Tim McCarver and Joe Buck I can endure.

Usually, when somebody sounds like Gomer Pyle, it's superficial; they're smart people who happen to share an accent with some fictional TV boob. But McCarver . . . oh, god, McCarver. I'm convinced he's to blame for 85% of Northern stereotypes about the South. The rambling anecdotes when the goddamn play is unfolding, the stupid pronouncements (personal favorite: a walk is as bad as a home run), and the fact that HE CAN'T TALK (what the fuck is a "splate", Tim?) . . . it's all too much. Joe Buck, meanwhile, is a fucking parody unworthy of further comment.

And it's not like the rest of the staff is loaded with aces: these are the people who called the Astros the Expos while they clinched their NLDS. But the worst of all their offenses came in the Angels-NYY series: the goddamn "Head, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes" music video WITH FAKE KID HANDWRITING AND MISTY GRAPHICS that Fox made of a montage of wild Vlad Guerrero swings. THEY PLAYED IT WHILE PEOPLE WERE ON BASE AND THE NEXT AT BAT WAS CONTINUING. Because what baseball fans need isn't information on what's happening, it's a toddler video that looks like a douche ad.

In summary: though I regret the Yankees' loss, it has--in enabling me to tune out of future playoff games when I need to--at least kept my blood from shooting out of my eyeballs.


Posted by Adair at October 11, 2005 1:07 PM

Posted to Crrrap!
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