1. It plays Homicide.

2. During Homicide, it plays the most fucked up commercials ever. The really long Old Glory-style ads, the creepy mattress ads . . . these are all awesome. But the best is the epic-length Proactiv ad wherein P. Diddy says that the product "moisturizes [his] situation and preserves [his] sexy".

Now, his use of "sexy" as a noun is of long standing; that party invite that leaked in 01 or 02 with "Do Not Disturb the Sexy" is, rightly, the stuff of legend.

But MOISTURIZES YOUR SITUATION?

That just sounds gross.

1. Walking past the Wyckoff Gardens Houses the other evening, I encountered things expected from previous walks, albeit still unwelcome: a blast of 50 Cent's "Candy Shop", which has to be the most stilted and uninfectious song ever to climb the charts, and somebody tossing a tin take-out tray from a high window. What I did not anticipate, and what filled me with joy at people's ability to defy demographic expectations of personal taste, was a 60- or 70-year-old man blasting "Careless Whisper". Brooklyn, I love you.

2. Once you notice how much Robert Patrick looks like Don Henley, Terminator 2 is fucking ruined forever.

(For the record, I don't plan on having all posts be two-item lists, but hey, it's a thought.)