Scene: Park and 26th. I am about to cross south with a walk light. I am on the right and walking at a good, healthy city speed. As I am wont to do. A cyclist coming up the sidewalk behind me--which is totally fucking illegal; this dipshit is supposed to be on the street--almost hits me. The following exchange occurs:
Cyclist: I said "Woooo" and you walked anyway!
[Side note: "Woooo"? This is the new "on your right"? WOOO?]
Me: I walked because I have the light and this is a sidewalk.
Cyclist: I have the light too!
Me: [Walking away because he's wrong and I'm busy.]
Cyclist: [when I am across the street] Maybe if you weren't so overweight you could get out of the way! [bikes off]
End scene.
Had I been in closer proximity at the time of the insult, I might have sounded off. "If I weren't so overweight, you might have to find a more creative way to be a douchebag." Or, "If you weren't such a shit-for-brains, you might be able to fathom this crazy 'road' system they've come up with." Or I might have just been stunned and missed the opportunity to retort, as the rudeness was so unexpected, what with him being completely wrong and all. We shall never know.
So I guess the lessons are:
1. Laws don't apply to cyclists.
2. The size of my ass is everybody's business.
3. If said size does not meet general standards, I deserve to get hit by cyclists on the fucking sidewalk.
I had actually been having a pleasant day, despite the stress currently coming from every direction. I hate people.
| Being a cyclist (in the city, big difference) is a dealbreaker for me, in terms of dating. I think it shows:
* you have no need for, and therefore no respect for the great equalizer, mass transportation * you are self-righteous towards people who don’t like their morning commute sprinkled with death and sidewalk puddle/poison splatters * you probably have b.o.,freakishly overdeveloped calf muscles and a fondness for spandex * you might have only one ball Finally, for your reading pleasure: http://nymag.com/news/intelligencer/21363/ Even though these people were on a clearly designated bikepath, I still chuckled. Because I hate cyclists. |
Doesn't she just rule?