May 17, 2006

Best Voicemail Ever

A long time ago, I got a voicemail from a woman named Naia who was looking for another woman (named Kimba) so that custody of a child could be transferred. Now, my voicemail greeting very clearly says "Adair". Not "Kimba." So it should be obvious to any caller at that stage that there is no Kimba to be found. That was problem one. Problem two was that even if I had wanted to call the angry-sounding woman back and tell her the mistake she'd made, I couldn't--her number was blocked from caller ID.

So I just ignored it.

Then, a while later, I got a follow-up voicemail. A voicemail of such surpassing brilliance that I saved it every three weeks for OVER A YEAR. It's not high quality, but I've finally managed to digitize it for you, my reading public:

If embed fails: The Glory of Naia

March 15, 2005

Resolution Still Intact after Four Days!

Though my previous entry is dated the 13th, the photos were taken walking home on the 11th. Thus my walking over the bridge today constitutes adherence to my recently announced policy; I'm good until at least next Friday. Considering the sad fate of other resolutions I have made--I will only read books that challenge me! I will be a better correspondent! I will not plot coups!--this is remarkable progress indeed.

Fewer photos, though, and only one worth posting. It was cold, dammit.

March 13, 2005

New Policy

At least once a week, I will walk home over the Brooklyn Bridge from at least the City Hall stop (I don't think I can make myself go past Canal Street and remain sane). Sure, the photos I take will be shaky, since I haven't mastered setting the shutter speed on my (recently acquired) digital camera, there are cars rumbling beneath, and, for now at least, it's fucking freezing without gloves. But it's one of the few places to be thoroughly in the city without a full-blown crowd around, and with proper timing, I'm there as the sky changes colors. Even on rather crappy weather days, as below, it's beautiful and keeps the psychosis at bay.

February 28, 2005


The Gates were every bit as cool as they were intended and reputed to be. And since we went into the park up in Harlem, the crowd was merely bustling rather than insane.

I got a swatch, so I think I may now consider myself the object of near-universal envy.

Photos here.

February 1, 2005

The Best Email I Ever Got. EVER.

I'm going to the archives for this, because it never fit anywhere on my site, yet is too awesome to languish unseen.

Back a few years ago, when I was an even lowlier minion than I am now, a man wrote me an email asking for the pub date of a book; being a good minion, I told him. He then cc'd me on every email he sent to anyone else about the book--because I must know that my word was going out! I must not lie about pub dates! Because I have nothing better to do!

In any event, he had some address book difficulties, and would often send me or cc me on emails meant for others; the first email below is a good example. Then, one day . . one magic, shining day when I came back from the Christmas holiday break to my cube, I found the third email below waiting for me. And such was its awesome power that I actually yelped, clapped one hand over my mouth, waved the other one at my cube neighbor so he'd come look, and jumped a foot in the air while sitting--all at once.

I don't dare paste in the text. I don't like the google keywords for which this page would suddenly be a result. Just read below!

If you're like me and want this on your office wall at all times, click on the image for a larger, more printable version.