There are a lot of good things I can say about my experience thus far at law school. It's engaging, I like my fellow students, I like my professors, etc. But those are all important things. As we all know, it takes a trivial achievement to earn sincere affection.

So, today's reason I ♥ this place:

In an email sent out this morning to the student body, the dean of the law school used the phrase "first-come, first-served basis".

That's right. He didn't fall prey to the entirely nonsensical and maddening "first come first serve" error, AND he properly hyphenated the compound adjectives. My heart overflows. Sorry; I meant my ♥.

1. Number of impositions of my will on the universe: 2.
A. Weather chilling [see below].
B. Shaming the would-be pseudometalhead F-train businessman into quieting his iPod with one eviscerating glare. Yeah, buddy, we've all heard "Master of Puppets". You still aren't scary.

2. Number of unsolicited compliments on my mouthing off today in class: 3.

3. Number of unsolicited compliments (truly! from strangers!) on my karaoke bellowing of "Bye Bye Love" at a school social function: 2.

This is what is known as "a good day".

Yesterday evening, as I prepared to head out for a friend's birthday party, I was not listening to the latest indie rock sensation. Oh no. I had C-SPAN's broadcast of the Fourth Circuit oral arguments in the Al-Marri case on. It wasn't even video. It was audio with still publicity shots of whichever judge or attorney was speaking at that moment.

The shame!

A offered to buy, made a deposit, started being a douchebag and demanding additional furnishings thrown in with the house.

Frigaliment Importing v. B.N.S. Int’l Sales
Fucking chicken case.

Pre-Existing Duty Rule
Or, the sailors get screwed.

b moved family to tx, took 55 days, got there . . . nothing there!
plaintiff sues. district court finds for the douchebag.

How is this case different from Jacob & Youngs?
it's horrible!!!

hypo 2:

b has disease. a and only a has antidote.
a demands b will sign the same doc or a will not inject the antidote. b signs. enforce contract?

yeah. even though a is a total d-bag.

If nothing else, I have learned that I need to retire "douchebag" and its variants from my vernacular.

Not a lot of time for discursive entries as finals make their demands. So, in quick digest format:

What I Have Learned This Week:

1. The word "faggot" is still a sufficiently incendiary insult that it can instantly escalate a simple snowball fight into an actual punching-people-on-the-subway fight. (This one was quickly broken up, fortunately.)
1a. Recent events notwithstanding, the conductor on whose train this occurs will be more concerned about the door being blocked than about the two teenagers battering one another.

2. Nothing in one's dress, appearance, or conduct can help one escape being called "a hot little number" if the other party is sufficiently drunk and inexplicably fixated. Eugheugheughgghghghgh.

3. There is no relief in completing one exam when two more are in the barrel.

What in the name of all that was ever sweet, just, and true are you DOING? I don't know what you're trying to microwave, but I guarantee you that it should not take you three solid minutes of continuous button-pushing, beeping, and door-slamming to get it done. Are you entering a launch code? Is that what is going on? Is that not, in fact, a microwave at all, despite its presence in the student lounge?

If so, I should remind you that the University's code of conduct, while liberal, surely frowns on the use of its resources for nuclear attack. So really, you should KNOCK IT THE FUCK OFF immediately.

Thank you.

Adair Iacono

I had this whole thing I wanted to write relating my horror at this New York lottery commercial with a case we read in Con Law where the court was so offended at the mere notion of gambling and lotteries that it could not shut up. Instead, I will apply a principle from Torts: res ipsa loquitur. (The thing speaks for itself.)

New York Lottery's latest ad:

Now that it has spoken for itself, I would like to reply, "FUCK YOU VERY MUCH." I can't even decide to whom it is most offensive, but really, there are no winners here.