Given that I don't hate my job--at least not most of the time, and only as much any self-respecting minion really should--the immense dread with which I faced going back to work today was really extraordinary.

There's a moment in The Lonely Guy when Warren (Charles Grodin) explains that he doesn't like naps because when he wakes up, he gets that awful shock of who he is; he doesn't like to go through that more that once a day.

That's what the return to the reality of work feels like today.

I'm going to the archives for this, because it never fit anywhere on my site, yet is too awesome to languish unseen.

Back a few years ago, when I was an even lowlier minion than I am now, a man wrote me an email asking for the pub date of a book; being a good minion, I told him. He then cc'd me on every email he sent to anyone else about the book--because I must know that my word was going out! I must not lie about pub dates! Because I have nothing better to do!

In any event, he had some address book difficulties, and would often send me or cc me on emails meant for others; the first email below is a good example. Then, one day . . one magic, shining day when I came back from the Christmas holiday break to my cube, I found the third email below waiting for me. And such was its awesome power that I actually yelped, clapped one hand over my mouth, waved the other one at my cube neighbor so he'd come look, and jumped a foot in the air while sitting--all at once.

I don't dare paste in the text. I don't like the google keywords for which this page would suddenly be a result. Just read below!

If you're like me and want this on your office wall at all times, click on the image for a larger, more printable version.

is to organize one's thoughts.

A handy tool for this purpose is the Stephen Colbert "On Notice Board" Generator.

My own, which retains one element from the original: