Open Letter to the Man Who Almost Hit Me in the Face with his Senselessy Oversized Golf Umbrella,
I don't care that you have an eyepatch. You should STILL pay attention to what you are doing with the right half of your self.
If anything, you should be even MORE sensitive to putting peoples' eyes out. You should know that you can't see out of your right eye, and turn your melon head to look with your left eye. It's not like anyone snuck the eye patch on to your melon head.
An eye patch is not a coupon to commit senseless ocular destruction.
Sign me,
-4.75 in Both Eyes in Brooklyn