Open Letter to the Iced Tea Slurper,
I love Arizona iced tea, don't you? It's sweet and
refreshing. I can tell you enjoy it as you make
satisfied slurping noises with each sip from the
oversized can. Are you deaf? Do you not hear that
over the din of NOTHING as you are in a silent
library? HEY! Did you just start WHISTLING? For the
love of crumbcake! I am under no longer under any
obligation to not punch you straight in the face.
And put your fucking shoes on.
Yours,
Alanna